


Relapse

by DivineVarod



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Ace Rimmer - Freeform, Dimension Jump, Guilt, M/M, Meltdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:43:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6293734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineVarod/pseuds/DivineVarod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lister regrets his punishment of Rimmer after the events on Wax World. Waiting for the lightbee to return he keeps wondering why the damage he caused to the transmitter made the Hologram behave the way he did. When he finally receives his answer it isn't what he expected to hear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relapse

Dave Lister regretted it within seconds. Swallowing Rimmer's lightbee might have seemed oh so justified in a fit of anger; but when thought about in the more rational moments after, it quickly lost it's charm.

"Rimmer deserved it" – he kept telling himself.  
  
_“But,”_ a little voice kept saying; _“did he really?”_  
  
Kryten had said Rimmer had become mentally unstable after he had put his bee in his mouth and played ball with it.  
Why had he done that anyway? The Android had warned him to be careful with it.  
  
Damaged technology always had weird glitches so was what happened to Rimmer really that surprising?  
But even if Rimmer experienced a glitch why had it changed him into a take charge movie type action hero?  
  
Sadly he had stopped himself from getting the answer for some considerable time.  
  
Over the next two days Lister's anger towards Rimmer turned into guilt then fear.  
  
Why couldn't he have taken charge earlier? After Kryten told him Rimmer was unstable he could have had Holly shut down Rimmer at any moment instead of when it was too late.  
   
If Rimmer's behaviour had come from the damage he caused then wasn't he to blame too?  
  
What if the lightbee would not come out?  
  
What if he had caused irreparable damage?  
  
What if it was broken?

And if it still worked; How upset and humiliated would Rimmer feel? _Rimmer!_  A guy suffering from OCD and Mysophobia!  
   
He had to talk to Rimmer.  
  
Would Rimmer ever talk to him again?  
  
\---  
  
The lightbee had finally returned but Lister didn't really know if he was happy or scared.  
  
Kryten recovered the tiny item and purified it before checking it for damage.  
  
The cruise through Lister's digestive system had done surprisingly little damage, but a small receptor had been crushed by what looked like a teeth mark. Lister cringed, that must have caused Rimmer to flip out on Wax World.  
  
He had Kryten clean the lightbee in every way possible, hoping that Rimmer wouldn't feel too shell shocked by the event once he was reactivated.  
  
But sadly his hope proved idle.  
  
\---  
  
Forty three hologramic showers in five hours later Rimmer still felt unclean. He asked Kryten to check his lightbee for any remnants of dirt for what seemed the hundredth time after which he had another panic attack.  
  
For the next few days all Rimmer did was either shower or have his bee cleansed. He kept bothering Holly with requests to check if anything nasty had gotten into his programming. She kept telling him no, but Rimmer was never truly placated. The only place where he seemed calm was in Kryten's laundry room because it made him feel "cleaner."  
  
Lister didn't really know what to say or do to make Rimmer feel better. What was even worse was that Rimmer refused to even acknowledge his existence no matter how much he tried to apologise to him. This stung; it wasn't all his fault, was it? No matter how much damage he had done to the bee, there had to be a reason behind his behaviour. He kept returning to the question: "Why had Rimmer decided on becoming some over the top action hero?"  
  
He was relieved when he saw Rimmer go up to the Observation Deck, this was usually the signal that the Hologram was ready to talk.  
  
\---  
  
“Rimmer I could keep saying I'm sorry, but I know it's too little too late. I damaged your bee so I'm at-least partly to blame.”  
  
“It doesn't matter, I deserved it. I wiped out a smegging planet.”  
  
This Lister had not expected. He had thought Rimmer's upset had been aimed at him, but apparently he had been torturing himself instead.  
  
“Hey, not on purpose!”  
  
“That's not going to make much difference to them, is it?” Rimmer wrung his hands. “What's wrong with me Lister? I killed everyone on this ship except you, I killed everyone on that planet. I got myself killed twice. It's as if death singled me out like some sort of big cosmic practical joke. I don't get how it could go so wrong. I only tried to help just like …”  
  
“Like who Rimmer?”  
  
Rimmer ignored the question.  
  
“I wanted to save them, be their hero. I failed them. I thought I could do it. I just felt it was my chance to make a mark. To help free a nation with what I knew from the war films I watched. To show I could lead. Be someone, help. Do some good for a change.”  
  
He paused and seemed lost in thought then turned to face Lister.  
  
“Maybe I just did it for you. To show you I could be like …”  
  
“Like who Rimmer?” Lister asked again, more urgently.  
  
“Like Ace …”


End file.
